Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Stress Free, sort of......

At the end of my last post I mentioned something about leading a more stress-free life.  As always, it's easier said than done....

I wouldn't necessarily say that I have a high amount of stress in my life.  I consider the things I stress about to be normal.  Getting all the things I'd like to get done for the day done; getting the kids out the door and to school on time; keeping things picked up around the house (more on that in a minute); being the person to constantly remind everyone of what they need to have done for the day; etc....    I'm also one of those people that over-analyzes everything.  Not really sure why this is, but I know that I've always been this way.  Doing something, and then going over in my head about how I could have done it differently, and if I'd done it differently, how the outcome might have been.  Really pointless in the grand scheme of things, since I really can't change what I did, but hey, that's the way my brain works.  I've been extremely forgetful lately, and I feel like I spend half the day just trying to remember why I walked into a room, and what I came in there to get.  I lose my keys at least once a day, even though I have a designated spot for them (I 'forget' to put them there when I walk in the door).

I'm slowly realizing that a lot of my stress is because I'm so unorganized.   Let me preface this next part by saying that I've never been organized to any extent.  When my mom asked me to clean my room as a child, my solution was to shove stuff either under my bed or in my closet.  Open door, see clean room = problem solved, right?  My mom was onto my tricks, and I eventually had to really clean, otherwise she would come in and do it for me.  I hated this, because I treasure my privacy - it was a good motivator.   Once I got out on my own though, that was a different story....

I can for the most part manage to keep the kitchen/living room/dining area picked up to Jeremy's standard.  That isn't to say that I don't have piles of papers stashed randomly in a box under the cabinet, or boxes of papers that I need to go through in the laundry room (of all places).  My room, or should I say 'our' room is the worst.  My side of the room looks like an episode of Hoarders - I'm never in there long enough during the day to put stuff away, and by the time the boys go to bed and I have the time I need - Jeremy's in bed for the night......argh!    It's a losing battle to tame that area, but I feel like if I'm going to start being more organized (i.e. have a place for stuff, and actually put it in that place), I need to start with that room.   Then maybe it would give me a kick-start for deep cleaning/organizing the rest of the house.

I've decided to make it my goal for the next month.  We'll see if this leads to less stress in the process (or more, depending on how the organizing goes (I tend to be a little OCD at times)), or not.  Wish me luck!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Shingles, Really?

So my goal was to post on here at least every other day, but here it is January 10, six days after my last post.  I have had a lot of things happen in the last week, so I won't beat myself up too much for not posting.

I started working out again this week.  My friend Julie has some P90X disc from a friend.  When the weather started getting cooler in the fall, and we could no longer walk the track comfortably (we're wimps that way), she offered up her extremely large basement for anyone interested in working out.  We currently have about 5 or 6 other moms that show up on any given morning.  We work out on one end of the basement, and the kids all play in the play area.  It's nice, because there are enough other kids and toys that they pretty much entertain themselves.  I try and go 3 times a week, when I don't already have stuff planned.  I have lost about 5-7 lbs since I started going, but I'm probably building more muscle with this program, so I don't really focus on the weight loss as much as how the working out makes me feel.

Last week I went Wednesday and Thursday.  We did plyometrics (lots of squats with some arm movements built in) on Wed. and arms/abs on Thurs.  I was feeling some pain in my left hip joint, so I was thankful that we were not working on those again.  Also on Wednesday I noticed a broken out area of skin on my left buttcheek.  I thought maybe it was from sweating, so I took a shower, and put some acne med. on it  -- called it good.  By Thursday afternoon, the area was bigger, and a little itchy.  I put some hydro-cortisone cream on it, and it seemed better.  By Friday night it was an area about the size of my hand, red, and raised.  I knew it wasn't normal, but we were heading to my hometown to clean out our storage unit, and we'd been putting that off long enough.   So while Jeremy and Jonathan loaded up stuff from the unit, my mom graciously watched the boys so that I could go to a doctor and get it checked out.

Turns out I have shingles.  I was taken aback when I first heard this, because I have never known anyone under the age of 80 that has had them.  Thankfully I have a mild case, but the swollen lymph node and the hip pain (caused by nerve endings) were directly related to the shingles.  It's caused by the chickenpox virus, which stays dormant in your system after you've had them.  The main causes are weakened immune system and stress, but there are other causes as well.  The virus them comes out of dormancy, travels through a pathway of nerves, and causes a breakout of shingles.  They are scaly, and itchy, and in some cases can cause long term nerve pain or even bacterial skin infections.  I knew that they were caused by a weakened immune system, but I felt fine physically.  However, I've had a lot of stress lately; financially we're struggling a bit, and then there's the whole child custody/support issue.  I will save that for another time.  I thought that working out was a good outlet for my stress, but apparently I need to find other ways of dealing with it as well.   I will have to research different ways of doing this.  The goal is to not have this happen again.

The area is almost half the size it was after 2 days of antibiotics, and I'm feeling a little sore still, but have a feeling I will be alright by the end of the week.  Shingles can be contagious to those who have not had chickenpox, but mine are in a very unexposed area, so although I am still keeping an eye on Joshua and Joseph, I'm not all that worried that they'll get it.

Here's to living life more stress free!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Censorship Gone Too Far?

     I read an article today that saddened me a little bit.  A classic book is being republished by a company; sounds innocent enough, right?  The book is Huckleberry Finn, and the company in an effort to make this book less offensive for today's politically correct society, is replacing the word (I'll say it) "nigger" with "slave".  They are also replacing the word "injun", so as to not offend Native Americans.

     My heart broke a little when I read this.  I'm almost certain that when Mark Twain wrote this great piece of American Literature that he did not intend to offend readers in any way.  Those were the times, and those words were regularly spoken as part of the culture that he was living in.  If anything he used those words to show how repulsive and derogatory they could be, so that future generations would learn something from his writing.  I read this book more than once growing up, and love books like that because they take you to a different place when you're reading them.  It is in essence, historical.

     I understand that the company that is doing this hopes that certain schools that have banned this book will allow it again, because if it's "less offensive language".  But will the children reading it really get the same message if the words are different?  Perhaps, but they won't get the true enjoyment of reading the author's own words, the way he meant them to be read.

     I'll get off my soapbox now - good night, and happy reading!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

You Gotta Have Faith

     Today is Sunday, and for the first time in a long time, I went to church.  I went on my own, because my husband is not a church-goer, and my children would have been too distracting to take with me.  I was baptized and raised Catholic.  I used to love going to church, and thoroughly enjoyed my faith.  Sometime during my teen years, I lost that joy that I used to get, and it became increasingly difficult to really listen to the message that the priest was trying to convey to me through his sermon.  I would find myself on the verge of sleep often.  After I graduated and moved on to college, I quit going to church.  It just wasn't high on my priority list.  I still go to church when I'm home visiting my parents, but for me it's more of a tradition, and a way to spend time as a family than as a way to listen to and worship God.  I've tried some different churches over the years, looking for something to fill me up, but never really found what I was looking for.

     Don't get me wrong; I've always believed in God, and that he forgives my sins if I am truly sorry for the things that I've done.  Only, I'm not always sorry for things, especially if I believe that I'm in the right.  I believe that if I repent, then I will be in heaven someday.  I believe that I have guardian angels that watch over me.  Basically, it's been a while since I've believed in my faith 100%.  I've heard the saying that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but there are many times when I'm not sure that's the case.  If it is the case, than he has a lot more faith in me than I do in him, and that makes me sad.   There are also some beliefs that the Catholic church has that don't jive with my life experience, and it makes me question Catholicism as a whole.

     I didn't go to church hoping for some miraculous change immediately, or that I'd suddenly "find" what I've been missing for the longest time.  In an effort to restore my faith, however, it seemed like a good step in the right direction.  There were times this morning that I spaced out, but I really tried hard to hear what he was saying, and hopefully will take those words to heart as I move forward.  Life is difficult at the moment, and I'm looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.  Maybe finding my faith will be the answer, maybe it won't.  Only time will tell.  I'm reminded of the words to a song - it's an old one, but I heard it on the radio this morning and it was almost like it was playing just for me.

"I'm not gonna let it get me down, I'm not gonna cry, and I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight.  Cause tomorrow's another day, and I'm thirsty anyway, so bring on the rain........"